You just might be a New Mexican if ...

Your favorite restaurant has a chili list instead of a wine list.

You do all your shopping and banking at a drive-up window.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".

You have license plates on your walls, but not on your car.

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".

You remember when Santa Fe was not like San Francisco.

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

You price-shop for tortillas.

You have an extra freezer just for green chili.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how
well armed they are just by looking.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

You have to sign a waiver to buy hot coffee at a drive-up window.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Las Vegas.

You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell
newspapers.

You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.

You can't control your car on wet pavement.

There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.

You know that The Jesus Tortilla is not a band.

You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business.

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in
the same week.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about how your neighbor
was shot or about your alien abduction.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.

You know Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You are afraid to drive through Mora and Espanola.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other
in the state pen.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3 am because you were hungry.

You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie"

You know whether you want "red or green."

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer
pot-holes.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos and Pojoaque.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going
to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You can order your Big Mac with green chili.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line
around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence
alternates between Spanish and English.

You associate bridges with mud, not water.

You know you will run into at least 3 cousins whenever you shop at
Wal-Mart, Sam's or Home Depot.

Tumbleweeds and various cacti in your yard are not weeds.  They are your
lawn.

If you travel anywhere, no matter if just to run to the gas station, you
must bring along a bottle of water and some moisturizer.

A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of
bread. You don't need to write it on your shopping list; it's a given.

At any gathering, regardless of size, green chili stew, tortillas, and
huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.

A tarantula on your porch is ordinary.  A scorpion in your tub is
ordinary. A poisonous centipede on your ceiling?  Ordinary.  A black widow
crawling across your bed is terribly, terribly common.  A rattlesnake is
an occasional hiking hazard.  No need to freak out.

And here's what ABQjournal.com's readers have been saying about New Mexico's culture....

 NM culture is about people of diverse ethnic groups, religions, occupations attempting to successfully live their lives and where possible enhancing the lives of others.

New Mexico is comprised of Hispanic  people whose ancestors were European with Mexican influence but who do NOT identify themselves with the current Mexican culture. There is also a strong Native American influence in New Mexico.

New Mexico Culture is not found in fancy galleries but within
the modest kitchens of remote village homes and inside the kivas
of our pueblos.

Overwhelmed by whiny Anglos who move here and try to make the state just like whatever white-bread hellhole they left.

Tradition, History, Chile
Cowboys, Indians, Casinos
Hispanics, Gringos, Politics
Federal Daddy, Tourist Dollars, Public Payroll
Science, Arts, Church, Spiritism
Poverty, Mesquite Opulence
Gets No Respect

New Mexico's culture, as seen by UNM regents, respects the rights of students to be admitted to the university, even if New Mexico's grammar & high schools have not turned them into college material, simply because they have Hispanic surnames.

Screaming sunshine.
Ingrained poverty.
Stunning landscapes.
Entitlement attitude.
Prioritzed multiculturalism.
Substandard education.
Artisitic mecca.
Pervasive patronage.
High desert vistas.
Stigma- and Penalty-free substance abuse.

New Mexico culture at its best: "People don't care what you know unless they know that you care."
New Mexico culture at its worst: "Sometimes they still don't care what you know; they just care who you know."

New Mexico culture is a blend of Native American, Spanish Colonial and American thought and influences brought together on the high desert and mountains of the Southwest.

New Mexico is adobe pueblos, churches and kivas.  It's chile, sopapillas and corn dogs. It's dry air, crystal blue skies and pink sunsets. It's acequias, railroads and interstates.  It's chollos, cowboys and physicists.  It's kachinas, Santa Fe style and Air Force jets. New Mexico is old and it's new; it's poor and it's rich, and remains quietly undiscovered by most people.

Possesses tolerance forged from centuries of inter-cultural contact, appreciates difference between red and green, understands that tomorrow is soon enough,  and values friends as family.

New Mexico culture is...er...I'll tell you mañana!

Manana Republic

Manny Aragon or Bill Richardson for UNM President! Why do we even need a university? We're imposing undue hardships on all our Mexican aliens. Let's just settle on 8th grade as a graduation goal.

Ultra-Hispanic, anti-intellectual, monolithic, freeloading, xenophobic, poor, slow, fat, myopic,  focused on past; non-competitive; anti-work ethic; Mexican outpost; self-absorbed governor; needs influx of diverse cultures from other continents.

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