By Jim Belshaw
Of the Journal
The short life of Imani Arredondo ended at 3:42 a.m. Friday. She was 6 years old. She died at home, with her mother, Shel, at her side.
Cynthia Baber, a University of New Mexico Hospital nurse with the Mariposa pediatric hospice program, was there, too.
She and others from Mariposa had been visiting the family for several months.
I met Imani and her mother when writing about Mariposa, the UNMH pediatric hospice program.
The adjective "dedicated" is a bit shopworn, worn out from too many boilerplate speeches, but it is still the word that comes to mind when I look at the people of Mariposa— doctors, nurses, a pain specialist, a pharmacist, a social worker, a chaplain.
Many are volunteers; two have suffered the loss of a young child themselves.
When we spoke last year, nurse Cynthia Baber, one of the Mariposa team who lost her own child, said, "We can't change the outcome, but we can soften the journey."
Ask them why they do this difficult work and often the word "calling" comes up.
"They do it because they believe in it," Dr. Richard Heideman said. "They do it because it's the right thing to do."
I first met Heideman three years ago while working on a series of columns about pediatric oncology. He is the executive director pediatric oncology and hematology at UNM Children's Hospital. He's the founder of Mariposa, too.
Heideman thought a better job could be done for the families of kids who would not survive their illnesses, about 90 a year in New Mexico, and not all diagnosed with cancer.
"Some things you can't fix," Heideman said of the diseases that afflicted these children.
Imani Arredondo, born with hydrocephalus, was a kid who couldn't be fixed.
Heideman and Liz Gober, an experienced pediatric nurse, put together Mariposa to comfort such children and their families. Salaries are paid by UNMH, but everything else comes from donors.
Heideman hoped to find funding from the just ended legislative session, but unable to do so. They'll try again next year.
They hoped, too, to find a donor who would provide a new RV for the program.
Liz Gober, driving a 23-year-old Southwind that is her own private vehicle, often parks it at the curb of a home in which a child is dying.
The RV makes it easy for parents to find her and affords privacy for the family at the same time. Often, it is from this RV that she is able to dispense the needed painkilling medicines for the child.
A new RV for Mariposa's sole use stays high on the wish list.
Imani had three brothers, all of whom were visited by Mariposa's social worker and chaplain. The siblings of a dying child can get lost in the swirl of emotion and caregiving. The program makes those children a priority.
Mariposa will stay in contact with Imani's mother for as long as 18 months, the long-term contact with families after a child's death a staple of the services.
With the death of Imani Arredondo, a new set of flower petals will be added to a glass jar at Mariposa's office. It is a potpourri made of lives and at the monthly support meetings for the staff, flowers are brought in memory of children who have died. The petals go into the jar.
Chaplain Marie Stockton runs the support meetings. In a December conversation, she said, "When a child dies, it's a severing of dreams; it's a severing of your future. It's serious and it's deep, very deep."
Write to Jim Belshaw at The Albuquerque Journal, P.O. Drawer J, Albuquerque, NM 87103; telephone— 823-3930; e-mail— jbelshaw@abqjournal.com.
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