Memo Bernabei: Sax Player Was ‘Mr. Personality’

He had crowds of 3,000 people a night as head of his own ballroom orchestra, recording four albums and 22 singles. Though he moved here in 2006, Golden State ballrooms still play his songs.

“He was Mr. Personality,” said his daughter, Dana Brown. “He just loved being onstage. Absolutely loved it. He’d get up there, and all of a sudden he’d lose 20 years.”

Bernabei died Oct. 22 in Albuquerque. He was 94.

Born in Morgan, Pa., on March 24, 1917, young Bernabei would cut stalks of thick grass near his home and poke holes to play like his brother played the saxophone. While his brother was out, Bernabei would secretly disassemble, clean, shine and reassemble his sax.

At 10 years old, his brother finally gave him the instrument and he took it to school. A teacher showed him proper finger positions and gave him a book of songs, telling him to learn the first song over the weekend. On Monday, he had learned the whole book. It was the only lesson he ever took.

He was touring the country with an orchestra at age 17.

“I used to cry. I was lonely,” he told the Journal in an article published in April. “I’d never been away from home before.”

He continued playing through the ’30s, sending home half of his $4-a-night pay, until going off to World War II.

He served as a drum major in the Army Air Forces, where he met and married dancer Virginia Smith. The two had a daughter, Dana.

After the war was over, Bernabei toured with the Jan Garber Orchestra. He caught the attention of music newsletter writer Con Good, who now has a radio show in Nebraska.

Bernabei could play notes the same as anyone, Good said, but “he just had a quality that really stood out. I don’t know how to describe it.

“He was a good-looking guy, and real personable. He was effervescent, and everybody liked him.”

Bernabei earned accolades for dance songs, which, he told the Journal in April, were his best because he was a dancer himself.

Brown said that the first few years of her life she was often on the road, where she saw him light up the stage and he called her onstage a few times.

He eventually left Jan Garber, setting his sights on a more permanent home in California.

He formed his own band, and his fame grew. He and Virginia split up and he married a second time, to a woman named Jean, before that marriage also ended, in 1978.

The same year, friends introduced Bernabei to executive assistant Connie Smith, 33 years his junior, at a show.

“When I first saw him, I thought he was a great musician, but he was the biggest flirt in that ballroom,” she remembers.

Friends dared Bernabei to ask her out, and she accepted on a lark. On their first date, “I had the best time of my life with him,” she said. They married in 1979, and Connie became band manager.

“People came from all over, just to hear Memo’s music,” Skippy Blair, former dance director at Golden West Ballroom in Norwalk, Calif., told the Journal in April. “I think it was as much his personality as it was his music that made everyone spend their weekends at the ballroom.”

He earned a reputation for his loyalty, hiring some musicians for decades.

The Bernabeis came to Albuquerque in June 2006 to visit a friend. In November of that year, Bernabei played his last show and they moved here.

Bernabei became a homebody in Albuquerque, his wife said. He had a schedule of TV shows he loved, but only one program he never missed.

“He loved his LA Lakers with a passion,” Connie Bernabei said. “Nothing interfered when those Lakers games were on.”

In the previous Journal article, Bernabei attributed his long life to clean living: He never smoked and never drank.

Brown remembers her father’s last time on Earth with a bit of a smile in her voice, recalling some of his last words:

“‘I’ve had the best life. I’ve had a great life,’” he told her. “‘Don’t ever cry about me. I had a great time.’”

Bernabei is survived by his wife Connie, who lives in Albuquerque; daughter, Dana Brown of California; and grandson, Christopher Brown of Sao Paulo, Brazil.