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Several weeks ago after a long time in planning, the gay and lesbian community in New Mexico joined with two national organizations, the ACLU and the National Center for Lesbian Rights along with our local attorneys to file a lawsuit for marriage equality. The fact is that nothing in our constitution prevents same-sex marriage and in fact it requires equal treatment under the law. But I will leave the legal discussion to our lawyers and the courts.
My comments are of a more personal nature. I and my partner of 22 years, Liz Stefanics, have been members of this community for many years. This year I celebrate my 32nd year living in this wonderful Santa Fe community. Liz has lived here since 1989. We have been your neighbors, your friends and your business colleagues. We have both run Santa Fe-based non-profits serving elderly and disabled people. We have worked together with you on nonprofit boards, community activities and fundraisers for our favorite charities. We are tax-paying contributing members to this community that we love We have even been elected to public office by you – Liz to the state Senate in 1993 and now the County Commission for a second term. I was first elected to the Santa Fe Community College board in 1998 and been reelected two times since.
Our relationship is as strong and committed as many of you who are married. Every year our nephew from Arizona visits for the summer. He started coming when he was six and is now 17. He wants to attend Santa Fe Community College while he lives with his aunts who will help him through school. One time when he was 10 he asked if we were married. I told him no because gay people can’t get married. He said, “Well, that is just stupid.” Of course I agreed.
I agreed not just because of the emotional nature of marriage, but because of the tremendous number of benefits our state and federal governments automatically bestow upon people who can pay $25 to get a marriage license. In fact for those who choose not to be married or who cannot marry, we lose 1,138 federal benefits. Here are a few: spousal Social Security, spousal death benefits, family medical leave, estate taxes, taxes on retirement savings, and COBRA health care coverage. Though everything we own, we own together when one of us dies the other will have significant tax liability – not so if you are married. What about hospital visitation or health care decision-making for a partner? Those go without saying if you are married.
Will we run out to the Santa Fe County Clerk to get a marriage license when the Supreme Court of New Mexico rules that our family is a family – that the constitution of this great state of New Mexico doesn’t allow discrimination? I don’t know. But shouldn’t we have the option?
