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Sunday, January 2, 2005

The Important Thing Is To Do What You, Your Fiance Want

By Rebecca Roybal Jones
Sage Staff
    THAT SPECIAL TOUCH: These days, it's not uncommon for couples to weave a theme into their weddings— whether it's based on where they met, a cherished movie or a favorite color.
    One national trend is for couples to have medieval or Cinderella-themed weddings. But here in New Mexico, "when people do themed weddings here, they're more down to earth," says Evelyn Spiker, a certified wedding coordinator and owner of Black Tie Optional Custom Events in Santa Fe.
    Couples here are more apt to weave personal details into their weddings, such as the place the couple met. Spiker said one wedding she coordinated recently had a rock-climbing theme: On each table at the reception, the couple highlighted places they had climbed together.
    In New Mexico, themed weddings are "more subtle, low-key and personal," Spiker says.
    Of course, many weddings here have a New Mexico theme, with mariachi music, enchiladas, posole and local wines.
   
A romantic journey
    Susan Lucas Kamat and Nikil Kamat blended two themes to make their special day in October 2001 a personal one. While they served traditional New Mexican food, they also gave their guests a Land of Enchantment experience by chartering a train ride on the Santa Fe Southern Railway to a train-side wedding site overlooking Galisteo Basin.
    The Kamats didn't set out to have a themed wedding.
    "It was a destination we arrived (at) after looking at a lot of options," says Kamat, 32, a project manager for a local manufacturing company. "He was raised Hindu... There isn't a Hindu temple in Albuquerque. I'm not that religious. The whole 'Get married in the church' wasn't really an option for either of us."
    Kamat had called a number of wedding sites and said they just didn't fit what she had in mind. She called bed and breakfasts, museums and other locales.
    "On a whim I said, 'Let's rent a train,' '' she says.
    Had she been back home near Myrtle Beach, S.C., they would have rented a boat, she says. But renting a train was just as fitting.
    "I grew up with my father loving trains, building model trains," Kamat says.
    So she called the Santa Fe Southern Railway, which charters scenic train rides from Santa Fe to Lamy.
    She adds the train theme wasn't brazen. Instead, it was a wedding that "became related to the train" and "related to New Mexico."
    The couple also planned a week of activities for their guests who traveled from all over the United States and abroad. So the wedding also became what's known in the wedding industry as a "destination wedding."
    It also was a getaway for the Kamats, who had rented a cabin in the Pecos wilderness for a week and a half.
    "It was very fun," Kamat says. "We have friends who say, 'When are you going to get married again? We want to see what you do next time.' ''
   
Getting personal
    The Kamat wedding is profiled in a book called, "Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding That Fits Your Budget and Style," by Christina Friedrichsen, a freelance writer based in Canada. The book was published by North Light Books.
    Friedrichsen said she had a hard time finding information on putting together a small wedding when she was planning her own. That's when she decided to write a book on putting small weddings— those with 75 or fewer guests— together. She interviewed 100 couples and found the trend is growing toward small weddings.
    Her book covers a variety of topics on planning a small wedding, including budgeting.
    "Couples want to personalize their weddings," she says. "The smaller weddings allow them to personalize. They can splurge because the guest list is smaller."
    And, holding a smaller wedding means couples can more easily pull off a theme, especially if the season— such as winter— is mixed in, Friedrichsen said. A winter wonderland theme can be simple to create, especially with all the holiday decorations already on display. And, it's a romantic time of year.
    "It's easy to create a theme around Christmas," she says. "New Year's Eve is a popular time to get married."
    New Year's Eve weddings allow couples to serve their favorite cocktails and appetizers instead of full dinners. And the couple and their guests can ring in the New Year together.
    Friedrichsen found couples who have based wedding themes on their favorite movies, a piece of heirloom jewelry, even one groom's vocation— the ceremony was held at a fire station.
    Friedrichsen said that for her own wedding, she clipped flowers from her garden for the bouquets and made lavender soap for the favors. "Go all out or bring elements of a theme into your wedding," she says.
    Weddings with a theme are "fun to plan and fun for your guests," she says.
   
Do your own thing
    Kamat said brides should be sure to focus on what they want for their special day.
    "There's this whole gigantic industry (with) a lot of people telling you what you have to do— and we sort of took an approach where we did what we wanted to do. We didn't have a receiving line. We didn't have a big cake. No fancy dresses and tuxes...
    "Take a deep breath and figure out what kind of day you want and the kind of memories you want. If a church wedding is important to you or if you want a sit-down dinner ... or you want to go hiking out to a spot ... just plan a wedding to fit your personality."
   
Pick a theme
    For more information on Black Tie Optional Weddings, check out btoweddings.com.
    For information on Christina Friedrichsen's "Intimate Weddings," look up www.intimate-weddings. com.