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1997-98

Time to Shut Up or Draw, Pardner

By Frank Zoretich
For The Journal
   

Editor's note: The following story was written as part of a series called "Cheap Thrills" for the Albuquerque Journal. The criteria for these "thrills" are 1) a day-trippable circle roughly 150 miles from Albuquerque and 2) fees of no more than $10. Enjoy.

On a typical Sunday afternoon in Albuquerque, it doesn't take much to trigger a Romero Street gunfight.
Conversation veers into argument. Argument explodes into shooting. And when the gunsmoke clears, bodies litter the street.
But the "dead" quickly rise, dust themselves off and saunter away. It's just a show-biz shootout -- they'll have to die again in an hour.

Old Town Gunfights Location: Just north of Albuquerque's Old Town plaza. Hours: Four shows each Sunday afternoon -- at 1:30, 2:30, 3:30 and 4:30. Cost: Free Features: Staged shootouts performed by about 15 people firing blanks out of real Old West guns or replicas.
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The New Mexico Gunfighters Association, a group of about 15 people who stage the shootouts, uses real Old West guns (or replicas of the real things) and real gunpowder. But instead of bullets, they fire blank charges.
When the shooting starts, however, it's still possible to suffer powder burns, so the actors warn all innocent bystanders to keep a safe distance from the simulated Old West violence.
Except for the couple of weekends right around Christmas, the gunfighters put on four shows each Sunday afternoon -- at 1:30, 2:30, 3:30 and 4:30 -- just north of Albuquerque's Old Town plaza.
They're free entertainment, sponsored by Old Town merchants.
The gunfights are meant to be tourist attractions, of course. Even before Romero Street is closed to traffic and the first shots are fired to announce the opening of a show, tourists gather on the sidewalks in anticipation.
For even the most avid fan of lots of loud noise, it would take nearly four months of Sundays to witness all 60 of the shootout scenarios in the gunfighters' repertoire.
Depending on which one you happen to catch, it could be a bank robbery, an argument over a woman ("fallen" or still morally upright), a mining scam, a muckraking article in the local "Gazette," or practically any other dang thing that leads to a sudden heap of bodies in the street.
And there's opportunity -- sometimes unexpected need -- for variation even within the scripted shootouts.
In the show called "Mistaken Identity," for example, a spectator is selected at random from the crowd to be the guest of honor at an Old West "necktie party."
During one performance, however, the fellow who was picked chose to save his neck from even the make-believe threat of stretching. He just took off at a run, one of the gunfighters recalls, "and we couldn't catch him."
While performing another show, the actor portraying the good guy fired all his blanks too soon. His gun was empty and there were bad guys still coming at him. So he had to frisk the bodies already down until he found a gun he could use to defend himself.
Each show lasts no more than 15 minutes. Even with all the shouting and shooting, explains gunfighter Alan May, "we've found that people's attention span lags if it goes on any longer."
The New Mexico Gunfighters Association, formed in 1979, frequently competes with teams from other 01d West tourist attractions throughout the country. In 1986, the Old Town shooters took first place in the Cowtown, Ariz., round-up of the National Association for Gunfighting Teams.
"We do this to keep history alive," says Heidi Briscoe, president of New Mexico Gunfighters.
Briscoe had never handled a gun or died in public before joining the troupe in 1985.
Robert "Bud" Light, a retired Army sergeant, is the New Mexico Gunfighters business manager. (His hand moves toward his holster if you seem to think his nickname has anything to do with beer.)
"We all just want to entertain the tourists," he says. "None of us are here to be bigtime actors -- but we've all had parts in movies." (You may not have noticed him, for example, as the sheepherder and also as the Jeep driver in a golden oldie called "Captain Newman, M.D.")
A new gunfighter, Light adds, will spend two weeks just watching before being allowed a limited performing role -- which may consist of "just dying."
Some of the gunfighters began their shootout careers as "true introverts," Light says. "What the club really does for these people is to help them become real outgoing, outstanding street actors."
New Mexico Gunfighters, a nonprofit organization, also performs at conventions and other events. You could even hire the group for a 15-minute shootout at a private party -- but it would cost you at least $200.
You can find them on the street in old Town each Sunday afternoon. When the shooting starts, these gunfighters aim to please.