Late Sadie’s of New Mexico matriarch remembered as ‘true icon,’ known for her generosity

Sadie’s of New Mexico matriarch Betty Jo Stafford understood the restaurant business like the back of her hand.

That knowledge followed her everywhere, making it nearly impossible to dine out without instinctively evaluating every aspect of the operation, according to her son, William R. Stafford.

“She was very in tune with how the restaurant business should run,” he said. “She really did have her finger on the pulse of everything. She could see everything.”

After 85 years of life — which included running and expanding Sadie’s for several decades — Betty Jo Stafford died in her sleep on Feb. 6, according to an online obituary.

She was preceded in death by her husband of 45 years, Robert Stafford, who died in 2007. She is survived by two sons, William R. Stafford and Brian Stafford, and several grandchildren, great-grandchildren and hundreds of nieces, nephews and cousins.

Strong family ties, work ethic, faith, kindness and generosity are some of the words the obituary used to characterize Betty Jo Stafford’s life. Brian Stafford said “words can’t describe” the impact she had on family, friends and customers.

Before her death, Betty Jo Stafford bought Valentine’s Day presents for “probably 20 people,” including friends, family and Sadie’s patrons, Brian Stafford said.

“She bought this huge bag of candy that she wanted us to give out to all the customers that came on Valentine’s Day,” he said. “She just had an aura about her. She was an amazing person.”

William R. Stafford agreed, adding, “My mom was a true icon — the matriarch of our legacy.”

Betty Jo Stafford was born Elizabeth Josephine Koury in Albuquerque in 1940 to parents Rashid and Zahia Koury — Lebanese immigrants who came to America through Ellis Island in 1912 and “somehow ended up in Bernalillo,” William R. Stafford said.

She was the youngest of 10 children — nine girls and one boy — all of whom grew up cooking. The oldest sister, Sadie Koury, started the restaurant in 1954 with a location on Second Street that is now a tire shop.

Betty Jo Stafford was in high school when her oldest sister started the venture, which at the time featured Koury’s take on tacos and burgers influenced by the Indigenous flavors of northern New Mexico and Native American communities.

Betty Jo Stafford started working at the restaurant after graduating, and the two sisters began incorporating both their cooking styles, launching a more classic fusion of New Mexican flavors.

William R. Stafford said his mother always wanted to get involved in the restaurant business and grow the restaurant after “seeing how culturally important New Mexican cuisine was.”

“Back then, there weren't a lot of restaurants. The ones that were around were tiny diners or they were out of somebody’s house,” William R. Stafford said. “My mom always felt connected to that.”

In 1973, the business moved to a bigger space known as the Lark Bar and resided there for two years before relocating again to a bowling alley on Fourth Street. That same year, Koury retired and passed the restaurant along to Betty Jo and Robert Stafford. Koury died in 1986.

It was at the bowling alley location that the restaurant started serving New Mexico-style enchiladas and its own chile and salsas found in the restaurant today. The Staffords relocated the restaurant once more to its current Fourth Street building in 1991, where it’s been ever since.

There are also locations on Academy Road and in the Albuquerque International Sunport, which are operated by Roger Erker and the Fresquez family under licensing agreements.

The restaurant chain is a widely known staple of New Mexico’s restaurant scene, serving as a popular spot for locals and tourists. William R. Stafford said none of what Sadie’s of New Mexico has become would have happened without his mother.

“My mom was all in. She was really the instigator of the expansion, she was the instigator of the move,” he said. “We wouldn’t be here without her.”

For years, Betty Jo Stafford could be seen everywhere in the restaurant — from cooking in the kitchen to greeting and seating customers, and even bussing tables.

“I’ll never forget (this) one time. We had busboys, and she was out there, bussing and cleaning tables. Three of them were watching her and she turned around to look at them, and said, ‘You little brats, you get out here and clean these tables,’” Toni Minoli, a former Sadie’s employee, said with a laugh. “We all got a good kick out of that one.”

To Minoli, Betty Jo Stafford was more than just a boss and a “force to be reckoned with” — she was family.

Minoli started working at Sadie’s at 16, during a time when she was struggling to finish high school and her mother encouraged her to enter the workforce. Having gone to school with Betty Jo Stafford’s niece, the two connected and quickly formed a bond.

“Betty Jo was a saint; she was loving, giving and caring,” said Minoli, who worked at Sadie’s for 48 years.

During that time, Betty Jo Stafford lent Minoli her car so she could turn in her homework during the early part of her Sadie’s career. In the later years, the Staffords included Minoli on cruise vacations and trips to watch games featuring their collective favorite football team, the Seattle Seahawks.

“She literally took me into her family,” Minoli said. “She was just a wonderful person.”

The matriarch officially retired in 2024, but retirement didn’t stop her from continuing a yearslong tradition of hosting friends and family at Sadie’s for lunch every Wednesday.

Family and consistency were always the driving motivators and pillars behind everything she did, her sons said.

When family members told her they loved her, her response was always, “I love you more,” William R. Stafford recalled. When people walked into the restaurant, she wanted them to feel a sense of generous hospitality through every little detail, from clean windows to service with a smile.

“Being a strong business woman, being consistent — she never changed,” William R. Stafford said.

There are many ways in which the two sons and co-owners are considering honoring their mother and her Sadie’s legacy — potentially including a plaque in the restaurants, putting her photo on Sadie’s retail products, a menu item tribute and possibly naming any future restaurant ventures after her.

But carrying forward the consistency and dedication she poured into the restaurant for another 72 years is the most important way they plan to honor her, they said — adding the community can join in by continuing to support the business.

“That’s what she wanted — to keep it going,” William R. Stafford said.

Brian Stafford said he sees her impact not just through the restaurant but through the people his mother mentored and crossed paths with.

“We still have people today that worked for her years and years ago and say, ‘I learned so much from your mother about respect and discipline.’ So many people say, ‘If it wasn't for your mom, I wouldn't be where I'm at today,’” Brian Stafford said.

“Her legacy will go on forever and ever,” he added. “She really touched a lot of people’s lives.”

Kylie Garcia covers retail and real estate for the Journal. You can reach her at kgarcia@abqjournal.com.