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Thelma Domenici

Ask Thelma ... About Weddings

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Graciousness can still be achieved through technology
Dear Thelma: I love your column, as it is time we had some manners in this country. However, I certainly take exception to your answer on email invites. The writer of the question in your recent column was complaining that her friend "demands" a phone call, rather than responding to emailed invitations. Turn it around, she is demanding her friend access email when maybe she does not want to.   (Sunday, May 15, 2011)

Best advice for college grads — be gracious, be grateful
Dear Readers: At this time of the year I experience both happy and proud conversations and anxious and emotional exchanges. They all revolve around the same event: A son or daughter graduating from college. I have participated in several of these conversations and the question always asked is, "Do you have advice for college graduates?"   (Sunday, May 08, 2011)

A simple 'thank you' can end unwanted conversation
Dear Thelma: Are there etiquette guidelines for dipping? My husband and I were at lunch with one of our teenage children, and the jokingly philosophical conversation (questioning the ingredients listed on a container of half and half) we were having was interrupted by a woman at an adjoining table who started to explain all the ingredients to us, and even offered to draw us a picture to show us the chemical makeup of one of them.   (Sunday, May 01, 2011)

Audiences, please: Show is for your enjoyment
Dear Thelma: I am the parent of a daughter who is a member of a dance group. Their stated goal is "to help children develop discipline, a standard of excellence and a belief in themselves that will carry over in all aspects of their lives" through dance.   (Sunday, April 24, 2011)

Think through all party details before inviting
Dear Thelma: I'll finally graduate from college in May, a few years after most friends. Unfortunately, my university is several hours from my home. Because of the long commute to the ceremony and limited seating, I've chosen to celebrate my graduation with friends at home. I've selected a favorite restaurant and bar where friends can gather and celebrate if they wish.   (Sunday, April 17, 2011)

Wedding planning should be collaborative at every step
Dear Thelma: Our son is getting married, and we're thrilled with his wife-to-be. We have, though, encountered a dilemma concerning the wedding. The parents of the bride are able to pay only 40 percent of the wedding cost, forcing us to pay the remaining 60 percent, yet we can include only 10 guests out of the 100 guests planned for. We adore her parents and do not want to create any problems for anyone, but we feel this is unfair. How do we graciously deal with this situation?   (Sunday, April 10, 2011)

Meal did not have to end with bruised feelings
Dear Thelma: My mother invited me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday with my sister and our husbands. We have gone to nice restaurants in the past to celebrate my mother and her husband's birthdays and my sister and I paid the bill, but I was reluctant to go out for my birthday dinner fearing I'd pick a restaurant that was too expensive.   (Sunday, April 03, 2011)

A meal you don't like is not necessarily a bad one
Dear Thelma: When ordering a meal at a restaurant, if it does not meet your taste or order expectations (such as the chile is extremely hot), what do you suggest? I find myself continually ordering the food I have previously enjoyed without being as experimental as I'd like. Eating out is a luxury, but I still want to actually enjoy what is ordered without an uncomfortable confrontation. Please understand, I am not a particularly picky person, I just want to enjoy my meal. Am I committed to paying for it if I don't like it? Is it proper to ask for a different meal? Your insight will be appreciated by others experiencing this same dining dilemma.   (Sunday, March 27, 2011)

Deal with rude texting by setting right example
Dear Thelma: I recently returned from visiting my son and daughter-in-law in California. We were there for three days and stayed at their home. My daughter-in-law is constantly texting on her cell phone. I did not say anything at the time, but I think this is rude and I feel she would rather stay connected to her friends instead of visiting with my husband and me for the short time we are there.   (Sunday, March 20, 2011)

Let respect, courtesy guide Facebook interaction
Dear Thelma: I like Facebook. My husband does not. He thinks it is rude to prowl around among people's personal information, photos and conversations. I say if they've accepted me as a Facebook friend and put it out there for my consumption, it's not rude of me to look at it. What do you think?   (Sunday, March 13, 2011)

  • Knowledge, respect of differences can close cultural gap  (Sunday, March 06, 2011)
  • Segregated Dinner Party Leaves A Bad Taste  (Sunday, February 20, 2011)
  • You Needn't Dance With One Who Brought You  (Sunday, February 13, 2011)
  • Build A Strong Foundation for Marriage Network  (Sunday, February 06, 2011)
  • Secret Birthday Fund Leaves Friend Uncomfortable  (Sunday, January 30, 2011)
  • If I Didn't Get Job, Can I at Least Get Courtesy?  (Sunday, January 23, 2011)
  • The Ruder the Caller, the Gentler You Should Be  (Sunday, January 16, 2011)
  • Respect Is the Key Word When Walking Trails  (Sunday, January 09, 2011)
  • No One's Obligated To Recommend A Colleague  (Sunday, January 02, 2011)
  • Resolve To Make '11 A Year of Kindness To All  (Sunday, December 26, 2010)
  • Holiday E-Cards Are OK, But Please, Be Tasteful  (Sunday, December 19, 2010)
  • Use Joy of Getting To Teach Greater Joy of Giving  (Sunday, December 12, 2010)
  • Let Kids Know It's Important To Share Holiday Time  (Sunday, December 05, 2010)