‘Living with Nephew: How I Got Voted the Meanest Parent in the World’ is lighthearted, instructional and poignant

Albuquerque’s Sherri Burr is a prolific author of books on a range of legal and business subjects.

“I’m predominantly a legal scholar,” Burr said in a phone interview.

Since retiring from teaching at the University of New Mexico Law School, she’s written a history book that was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.

Burr’s latest book is a long way from anything she has previously written.

“Living with Nephew: How I Got Voted the Meanest Parent in the World” is lighthearted and instructional, poignant and multilayered.

The book is about Burr parenting 12-year-old Terrance — she calls him Nephew — during his seventh grade year at Jefferson Middle School.

Nephew had been living with his parents in southern California.

“His parents were competent, but he wanted to have a different experience. … I had no idea how tough it was going to be,” Burr said.

Tough because she would be thrust into a role as solo parental figure for the first time in her life.

Tough because she was parenting a 12-year-old boy going through puberty.

Tough because she was busy writing her first book on legal issues while on sabbatical from teaching.

Tough because she was forced to deal with the ramifications of Nephew’s high sociability level.

“He was popular with girls. He was popular with boys. The boys liked to hang out at my house and cook in my kitchen,” Burr said.

Tough because she had to make sure Nephew did his homework. The previous year he had gotten three Fs.

There were times when Nephew felt he was entitled to do whatever he wanted.

Some days he would show up late for class after walking a girl he liked to her class.

He would turn in a two-sentence paper though the teacher had given the class specific instructions to write a two-page paper.

Burr insisted Nephew maintain a specific grade-point average if he wanted to be a member of the school basketball team. She imposed rules Nephew had to abide by.

One month into Nephew’s attending Jefferson, Burr was feeling worn out from performing so many extra duties. She sought help on parenting from a syndicated newspaper columnist who was giving two seminars in Albuquerque.

Burr writes that the columnist, John Rosemond, recommended kids have chores and fully participate in the family’s well-being.

She took Rosemond’s advice and that evening told Nephew that the two of them would divide the cooking of meals, and the Saturday cleaning of the house, the garage, the car and the front and backyards. In return, she’ll give him a $12 weekly allowance for completing his chores.

Nephew signed off on the cooking-cleaning contract.

On clean-up day of the third week of the contract, Burr writes, Nephew didn’t immediately dust the living room furniture. Instead, he was on the phone talking to a girl.

Nephew was in trouble. Burr deducted two dollars from his allowance.

Nephew didn’t like the deduction, but he accepted it.

Another chapter recounts two separate issues that arose at home — fashion and lying.

Burr asked Nephew about why he was showing his underwear as his pants fell below his waist.

“It’s the style,” Nephew replied.

“Well, it’s a terrible style,” Burr declared. Nephew agreed to hitch up his pants with a belt his mother had just mailed him.

As for the lying, Burr noticed quarters missing from her car’s coin holder. She confronted Nephew. He initially denied stealing the change.

Inspired by a reality TV show, Burr said, “Let’s play ‘lie detector.’” She asked Nephew again about the missing quarters. This time he fessed up. She warned him that neither stealing nor lying is allowed.

Nephew replaced the stolen quarters and accepted the punishment for lying — No TV watching, no video game playing, no telephoning and no listening to music for one week. “But you can keep your privilege to read books,” Burr told him.

By the end of seventh grade, Nephew’s grades and attitude had markedly improved. He returned to Jefferson for eighth grade; his first progress report showed an impressive 3.6 GPA.

Nephew said in a recent interview that he learned a lot about relationships and the need for rules of behavior from his time living with his Auntie Sherri.

He thinks he has successfully applied those lessons as an adult in raising his own children.

Nephew is a nursing assistant at a nursing home in southern California.

Though Nephew’s emotional maturation, and his domestic, school and social life are at the heart of the book, Burr also gives readers a window into some of the issues she had faced as a youth in Phoenix.

An early draft of Burr’s manuscript for “Living with Nephew” won second place in the SouthWest Writers Annual Contest for Nonfiction Books in 2006. Family- and work-related matters prevented Burr from completing the manuscript until last year.

Tony Hillerman and Max Evans blurbed the draft. Evans’ praise is inside the book, Hillerman’s is on the back cover.

Hillerman said, “In ‘Living with Nephew,’ Sherri Burr leaves out the parts that readers skip.”

Urged Evans, “Buy it now. Read it now. Laugh and learn forever.”