OPINION: End stigma over SNAP benefits

My mom played a game with me at the grocery store when I was a kid. I had to guess how much everything in our shopping cart would cost.

In my head, I would multiply the cost of onions by the weight of those in our bag. I’d add it to the cost of a pack of tortillas. I’d hold that number in my head while my mom threw in rice, cheese, tomato sauce, eggs, Hamburger Helper and milk, which she would later chide me for finishing midweek. I loved this game. It gave me something to do and made me feel helpful. Many times my estimate came within a few dollars of the total at the register.

I remember feeling my mother’s anticipation as we approached the mini conveyor belt and the cashier. Would my estimate be correct? In retrospect, I can see that she was actually feeling anxiety.

The items would ring up, the dollar amount increasing with each scan and beep. People lined up behind us with their carts. It felt to this child like we were all staring at the digital dollars in an episode of The Price is Right.

When I got my math wrong, and we blew our budget, it was my mom’s turn to play a game: what needs to go back. The attention turned from the digital total to her. People watched her choose which items to surrender. I was watching, too. The silent staring continued as she paid. There weren’t cellphones back then, so all there was to do while waiting was watch.

My mom would pull out a little booklet of multicolored paper money to pay. I loved flipping through it and one day accidentally tore one of the papers out of the booklet, thereby nullifying its value. I stopped after that. When she got it out, I also felt the heat of people’s eyes.

Kids are not immune to their caregivers’ anxiety. They’re not immune to people’s judging eyes. They’re not immune to shame. They are actually more vulnerable to those feelings. My math skills sometimes weren’t good enough to save us from those feelings.

Even today I sometimes get overwhelmed at grocery stores and double-check my bank account before paying.

New Mexico’s state legislators, including me, gathered in the Roundhouse last Monday to shore up our state’s Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) because the president is withholding money and making people go hungry to win a political fight. Even though the government shutdown — which further disrupted the flow of SNAP benefits — is over, program recipients are still facing uncertainty. For example, the One Big Beautiful Act signed in July added new work requirements and removed benefits for legal immigrants.

I want to share this: When you choose to target, shame and blame people who are struggling to feed their kids, you are not a protector of our society’s children. It’s quite the opposite; you are attacking our youth.

When you carelessly and casually attack families, you raise a generation of kids who may not understand why they are flooded with shame when they enter grocery stores.

Today, the girl who was once honing her math skills by helping her mom avoid shame is a state representative who represents many people on SNAP. If that’s you, hear this: I will fight so you don’t have to feel anxious when you arrive at that grocery conveyor belt. I will fight to ensure the money will be there so you can feed your children.

I implore us, as a society, to drop the shame. We all may someday need the same compassion we decide to show others today.