OPINION: How scammers are using common hobbies to steal thousands

Romance scams have long been a staple of the online fraud world, but there’s a trickier version that is prompting warnings from experts.

The so-called friendship or relationship scam involves a “friend” you meet online who seeks to gain your interest by pretending to have something in common with you. It could be a hobby or religious affiliation — anything to build a connection.

After trust is established, the classic next step is to feign an emergency, a hot investment opportunity or a menu of other situations that lead to your new pal asking for money or identity details.

“These are online romance scams with a twist,” Amy Nofziger, AARP fraud victim support director, said in a recent newsletter. “Instead of pretending to fall in love, the criminals act like they share your hobbies or struggles. Whether it’s a sober support group or a Facebook group for classic car lovers, scammers are slipping into these spaces just to gain your trust and take advantage of it.”

The good news is that the Identity Theft Resource Center recorded a 32% decrease in romance scam complaints between 2024 and 2025, but the organization said such scams continued to evolve into broader fake friendship schemes.

An example: A caller who contacted AARP reported connecting with someone on a friendship app who seemed to share a variety of similar interests. Eventually, the fake friend claimed to be locked out of his bank account and asked for a loan through the Cash App.

He promised to repay the money and so the victim agreed, but ended up losing $10,000.

While predators tend to initially use sites like Facebook or Instagram to send direct messages or to comment on posts, they also sometimes approach people randomly by text. For example, they might say “Hi, is this Jane?” hoping to engage you in conversation if you reply, according to AARP.

The next step is persuading you to move to encrypted text message apps like WhatsApp or Telegram that are harder to trace.

Here’s what you should know, according to AARP and the FBI:

• Treat with skepticism a move toward sudden closeness too soon after you meet someone. Scammers are hoping to quickly build trust so they can ply their trade.

• It’s a red flag if an acquaintance wants to move the conversation to a secure app.

• Be cautious about what you post and make public online. This information is harvested by fraudsters so they can know how best to approach you and generate trust.

• Another red flag is someone who is evasive and wants you to keep the friendship secret. If they avoid meeting you in person or having a video chat, they might be hiding something.

• Do not send money. The common ask is that you send the requested cash by a nontraditional method such as gift cards or crypto. “Eventually, inevitably, scammers always ask for money. If someone you’ve never met in person solicits you for cash, that’s a red flag — and a red light,” AARP says.

• If you suspect you are being taken, cut off all contact immediately and don’t engage with them any longer — even if they are demanding an explanation.

Contact Ellen Marks at emarks@abqjournal.com if you are aware of what sounds like a scam. To report a scam to law enforcement, contact the New Mexico Consumer Protection Division at 505-490-4060. Complaints can be filed electronically at nmag.gov/contact-us/file-a-complaint/.