A tough choice for NM parents: Choosing to stay at home or work

It was a tough choice for Natassia Paloma to decide to be a stay-at-home mother. Now she’s working full time every day watching her children while not getting a paycheck doing it.

But she doesn’t have to pay for child care .

However, that cost may not be much of an issue in New Mexico anyway, since the state pays for child care for most families.

Still, New Mexico had the lowest women’s employment rate of any state in the nation in December, according to research by The Associated Press. Research also shows Hispanic women have lower employment rates than Black, Asian or white women, AP reported, something particularly relevant to New Mexico with its large Hispanic population.

So what’s keeping women out of the workforce?

Paloma said she decided to be a stay-at-home mom so she could be more involved in her children’s lives. When her now-6-year-old son, Nathan, was an infant, she worked as a prime-time news anchor and felt like she missed out on a lot of moments.

“So when I had my daughter, my second child, I thought it was a good time to take a step back for a moment and just focus on my family,” she said.

She said a lot of stay-at-home parents feel conflicted.

“I want to work, but I do also want to think of what’s beneficial for the child and beneficial financially,” she said. “So I think it’s really difficult.”

Natalia just turned 1, so Paloma is looking into child care and optio help New Mexico provides for child care services is great, and she didn’t have anything like that when her family lived in Texas.

“It’s also tough on the mom, or the parent who has to stay home, because sometimes you do want to follow that career, but it’s expensive to put them in day care,” she said. “So you think financially, it’s not beneficial for both parents to be working.”

Elizabeth Groginsky, secretary of the New Mexico Early Childhood Education and Care Department, said most families in New Mexico are eligible for free child care. The state’s Child Care Assistance Program subsidizes care for working or in-school parents at or below 400% of the federal poverty level.

Ruby Apodoca runs an at-home day care, Little Lobo’s Learning Center, in Albuquerque. She said nearly all of her children’s parents use state assistance programs. She said it’s more common for middle- and upper-income people to go to commercial child care programs, which tend to be more expensive than at-home day cares.

“It’s phenomenal what our (state’s) doing for the young parents and parents in general — to help them with the assistance of day care and get our economy going a lot better,” Apodoca said.

Social worker Lesle Price’s 2-year-old son, Hustle, goes to Apodoca’s day care, and her 5-year-old daughter, Aria, occasionally goes, too. Price said she and her husband found the at-home day care after their incomes exceeded the state’s threshold; their son formerly went to La Petite Academy.

“It’s way more affordable,” she said.

Price said she could be a stay-at-home parent, but it could be tight financially, forcing the family to give up luxuries such as multiple family cars or vacations, and she also likes working. She said she hopes to at least transition to working part-time in the future.

“Child care is really essential,” she said.

Financially, Paloma said it’s difficult to depend fully on her husband’s income. She said she also freelances occasionally to help out with some expenses, like groceries.

“It’s tough, though. It’s a sacrifice, only having one income,” Paloma said.

Groginsky said she doesn’t think paying for child care is as much of an issue in New Mexico because of state aid, but parents could struggle to find it. She said there’s a high demand for infant and toddler care as well as nontraditional care before and after typical work hours and on the weekend.

“The availability of care is not where it needs to be,” she said.

Groginsky said the state has dedicated millions of dollars to expanding child care services and also pays wages that reflect the value of early childhood education work.

“We definitely are on the right track, but more investments will be needed,” she said.

Parents in school

The AP reported there’s a gap in employment rates between mothers who have a four-year degree and those who don’t, and New Mexico consistently has one of the largest gaps between the employment rates of mothers with college degrees and those without.

Apodoca said she’s been in child care since 2019, and she’s seen a lot more women reaching out to child care centers since then.

Apodoca said she knows a single mother who previously wasn’t in the workforce because she was watching over her children. But with the state’s financial assistance program, she said, “she’s been able to work and go to school and put her kids in a day care.”

Others in the state have similar stories.

Groginsky said parents may not know that they can qualify for child care aid while in school, including graduate school. She said there are also a lot of child care programs on college campuses in New Mexico, such as those at University of New Mexico locations, San Juan Community College and Eastern New Mexico and Western New Mexico universities.

“New Mexico is doing a lot to support families who are working or in school,” she said.