Skeels Cygan: Don’t ignore your elephant in the room

As we age, we face challenges. Some are predictable; some are not. Some potential risks feel like major upheavals or taboo topics, while others are less disturbing. Some challenges involve finances, and some do not. Planning ahead for challenges that may be coming is always wise.

This article is primarily for women over 50, although planning ahead can benefit everyone, including men and people much younger than 50.

What challenges or upheavals will you face during the next 5, 10 or 20 years?

Will you become a widow? Men die first in roughly 85% of traditional marriages, so women need to plan on living many years alone. (I call these the “solo” years.) Although most widows are women, I had several male financial planning clients who were widowers during my career, and the adjustment after the death of their spouse was equally traumatic.

Will you go through a “gray” divorce after the age of 50? The prevalence of divorce has tripled for women over 50 since 1990, and 27% of divorced women live in poverty.

Will you run out of money before you die? Many women worry about money, often due to a lack of confidence in managing their finances. In traditional marriages, men often manage the finances and pay the bills. Learning how to manage your money now is essential.

Will you have a health crisis that derails you? Will you become a caregiver for a family member? Caregiving can negatively affect the caregiver — both physically and mentally.

Will you face a job or career change? This can happen at any time, but the recent cuts of many federal employees by the new presidential administration will have drastic consequences. In New Mexico, potential reductions in funding at our two national labs, military bases and national parks; the impact of tariffs on retailers and consumers; threatened deportation and changes to our state’s education system will all have lasting ramifications on our residents. Although most would agree that the size of our federal government should be reduced, the impact on the lifestyles of many New Mexicans will be significant.

Will you become isolated? The COVID-19 pandemic caused many seniors to stay home, reducing social interaction important to our health.

There are many other potential challenges, such as an economic crisis, a natural disaster, cybersecurity risks, another pandemic or enduring the death of a child or close relative.

What can we do to prepare for upheavals? Clearly, we cannot control every risk. However, we can take proactive, positive steps to address some of the risks.

1. Become involved in managing your finances. If you are in a traditional marriage and your spouse handles the money, start becoming involved. Make it a shared task. Plan to discuss finances and work together at least one evening each month.

Prepare a net worth statement and review it together. Review your investment accounts together. Discuss your goals. Increase your knowledge about investing. Many websites —Vanguard, Schwab, Fidelity and numerous other brokerage firms — offer a wealth of information even if you are not a customer. Likewise, a digital subscription to The Wall Street Journal, Barron’s or Kiplinger’s provides educational financial materials. AARP provides investment information on its website, and websites such as HumbleDollar.com and Morningstar.com provide valuable free content.

Consider the financial consequences if you become widowed or divorced. When a spouse dies, the surviving spouse will receive the higher of the two Social Security benefits but not both. This is a major contributing factor in widows experiencing a 37% decline in household income.

If you or your spouse receives an annuity payout or a pension, or will at a later date, understand how the amount may change if one of you dies.

The financial issues caused by a divorce are very different than the factors facing widows, but they must be considered.

2. Focus on nurturing your relationships with friends and family. This takes effort, so commit to staying in contact. Make plans to see friends frequently for lunch, plan to walk together, or go to the zoo or the botanical gardens. Go hiking, and enjoy our beautiful New Mexico landscape. Invite friends over often. If your family lives locally, make plans to see each other regularly. If they are far away, call (and visit) more often.

3. Make your health a priority. In addition to going to a community center or health club for a class or workout, you can simply lie down on a mat and stretch at home. Exercising just 15 minutes a day is beneficial. There is an endless number of free exercise classes online and on TV. Try something new. Call a friend and go hiking. Enjoy gardening, swimming or biking.

4. Plan something fun. We tend to shortchange ourselves when it comes to having some fun. Plan a trip or a local adventure, or try a new hobby. Take a class on a topic you know nothing about. Expand your horizons. Volunteer for a charity. Study the constellations in our night sky. Learn about the geology of New Mexico. Go to the library. If you have young children or grandchildren, include them in your planning. The anticipation leading up to an adventure is a large part of the fun.

Consider working on some of the above activities one evening a week. Decide what your “elephant in the room” may be during the next 5, 10 or 20 years, and choose the tasks you consider to be most important.

And don’t forget to celebrate your accomplishments! Summer is coming, with warm weather and plenty of sunshine. Sit outside in the evening, enjoying the breeze. Invite friends and family over, and share family stories. Pop some popcorn, or toast some marshmallows. Simple, old-fashioned activities can warm the soul.