Sick's Pack: Sports head-scratchers we could live without

Some things about sports you simply have to love.

No. 1 is their unpredictable nature. Want recent examples?

Golfer J.J. Spaun at the U.S. Open, sputtering through five bogeys in his first six holes Sunday only to drain a 64-foot clinching putt on the 18th — the longest made putt of the tournament.

Saw that one coming? Sure you did.

Or how about Tyrese Haliburton of the Indiana Pacers hitting a step-back jumper that bounces straight up off the back iron and drops in after the buzzer to force overtime in a playoff win over the stunned New York Knicks?

Everybody called that shot.

Finally, we had Las Cruces native Isaac Silva pitching impressively for Murray State in the College World Series. (One run allowed in six innings). From laboring at Eastern Arizona to shining on college baseball’s biggest stage.

If you predicted any part of that scenario, let’s hit the casino!

Crazy dramatic moments like these are part of the reason so many of us prefer watching sports to the contrived drama of “reality” shows or talking heads blathering on about the latest political scandals.

But (and yes, you probably saw that word coming), there are things about our beloved games that we don’t necessarily love or need. I recently surpassed 30 years as a staff writer with the Albuquerque Journal, which means I’ve now watched roughly a gazillion sporting events and some things still leave me baffled.

Some are just annoying, others are impossible to figure, but they’ve all contributed to the incessant head scratching that’s left my hair a wee bit thinner than it was back in 1995. So without further delay (see item 6), here’s a summer Sick’s Pack to help beat the heat.

Top Six Sports Head-Scratchers

6. Delay gratification: “Tonight’s game will begin in a weather delay.” This nonsensical phrase has somehow managed to become part of the social media sports landscape. Major league clubs and, yes, our beloved Albuquerque Isotopes trot it out regularly. There’s just one problem: it’s impossible to start anything during a delay.

Sure, it’s semantics more than sports. And yes, it’s just a writer’s peeve, But I’ve had English teachers and editors who would’ve gladly cracked my knuckles for repeating a gaffe like this. Tonight’s game will begin after a weather delay.

5. Alternate reality: Remember when you could proudly wear your team’s colors to a game and match your favorite players? Welcome to the world of alternate uniforms, where the Boston Red Sox sometimes wear yellow, blue and no red.

Everyone does it, including college teams like the UNM Lobos, who’ve been known to wear turquoise, pink, anthracite grey and even yellow uniforms in recent years. In addition to financial motivations (selling gear), there are reasonable explanations for many of these nontraditional color choices and some (love the turquoise) look undeniably sharp.

But for my money, the alternate universe can go too far. Seeing UNM women’s basketball sport yellow uniforms at home against Wyoming (which features gold as a primary school color) last season was just strange.

4. Media timeouts?: Most college and pro sports work these into their broadcasts, and they’re more about advertising revenue than anything else. Necessary evils? Probably, but the endless late timeouts in football and basketball games can go well beyond tiresome.

Fans at the Pit have all endured this scenario: Team A calls a timeout to stop Team B’s run just before a scheduled media timeout. Play resumes until the next dead ball — sometimes for just a few seconds — to be followed by another unnecessary timeout. Ugh!

Is there a better way? I don’t know. Perhaps limiting some timeouts to 15 seconds to stop the clock without huddles could help. But as a member of the media, I’d prefer to start calling them what they are: advertising timeouts.

3. Death by commercial: Speaking of advertising, I want to personally thank insurance and pharmaceutical companies for forcing sports fans to change their thinking. Who knew cavemen, green lizards and flightless birds could get us better deals on insurance? And think of the lives that have been saved by hearing 87 reminders per game not to take medications if we’re allergic to them.

Wait, can drug commercials cause side effects like, say, itchy scalp?

2. Kickin’ it: With summer training camps on the horizon, it’s time to start pondering what football kickoff rules will look like this year. The NFL’s baffling “dynamic kickoff” format led to a national head-scratching epidemic last season as fans chanted: “What the heck is that?”

The new, weird kickoffs and virtually impossible-to-recover onside kicks are rules changes designed with player safety in mind. Lots of players got hurt under the previous rules, so changes were necessary. Fans will probably adjust to the dynamic kickoffs eventually, too.

But only about 5% of onside kicks are successful under the new rules (no running starts, teams have to declare they are trying an onside kick, etc.). Why bother? Let a team opt for a fourth-and-20 play from its own 20-yard line to keep possession of the ball. Better odds and more exciting anyway.

1. Portally perplexed: The head-scratching aspects of the NCAA’s transfer portal are basically endless, but I’ll stick to its bizarre timing. Which genius decided it was a good idea to open transfer portals while a sport is still in season? Sorry, but this is just ridiculous.

This month we had players jumping into the portal while the College World Series was underway. In December, there were football players opting out of bowl games so they could enter the portal. Men’s and women’s basketball portals were busting at the seems during March Madness. Insanity!

I don’t and never will love the here-a-transfer, there-a-transfer, everywhere-a-ton-of-transfers portal anyway, but changing the dates seems like a no-brainer. Open the portal a day after the last postseason game and keep it open a bit longer if necessary. How hard is that?

Okay, I’ll climb down from my soap box now and start watching sports again. Does anyone know of a good medicated shampoo I can try?