Pet care: Cat frat hazing or attempted murder?

First in a series.

Karen and Richard loved “Larry” and “Curley.” These fuzzy BFFs shared their home with them since they were kittens eight years earlier. Everybody snuggled. Feline nirvana. Then a college kid needed to move and couldn’t keep 2-year-old “Moe.” Mmm, they reasoned. This could actually work. So, they dropped by Moe’s house to size him up, and wow, another sweet cat who likes to cuddle! What could go wrong?

What Richard and Karen didn’t understand is that Larry and Curley, having never shared their indoor lives with anybody but each other, developed permanent brain networks that supported their worldview. The natural world works differently. Cats live in colonies — a “village” that raises the youngsters. Some adolescents and adults come and go. Those living in a fluid environment, including permanent residents in feline foster homes, do fine with newbies. Sadly, Larry’s and Curley’s lifelong sheltered existence caused them to see outsiders as threats that needed to be exterminated or at least driven to the next county. No discussion, no debate.

This can be a difficult concept to grasp. We love our pets like little people in furry suits. Shouldn’t they behave that way? A lap-sitting heart-to-heart on the merits of kindness and peaceful coexistence should get the message across, shouldn’t it? The fly in this ointment is that cats don’t think that way. They’re members of different species that don’t even speak a human language.

Having consulted Dr. Google, the renowned purveyor of urban drivel, Richard and Karen were prepared. They fed and petted their cats, Moe on one side of a door, Larry and Curley on the other. A few days later they opened the door a crack and repeated the process until they felt a winning vibe. That’s when they learned the true meaning of loathing. Curley and Larry, screaming like banshees, launched themselves at Moe. Overwhelmed by panic and guilt, our well-intentioned cat parents sprang into action, hoping to prevent the disemboweling and dismembering of their beloved cats.

Next week: Another nefarious character lurked.

For help with behavior problems, sign up for a Zoom group conference at drjeffnichol.com

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